I checked into jail on foursquare
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize