Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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