We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she smelled like a LAN party
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
