I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
