Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can I color on your dick again?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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