carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
