and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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