I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
