did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
