I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just had sex on a roof
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
