I heard we made out
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
