I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
