Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize