dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
