If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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