I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
