PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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