Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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