i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize