i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
