Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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