There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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