I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize