Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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