Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
