I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
