Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
