no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
