I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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