Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
