...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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