all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
