she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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