I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
