There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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