I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
