all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize