How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize