so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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