I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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