kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
