we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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