Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
