Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
