Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
