Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
