i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
