this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
