White coat. Heels.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
