smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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