I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
