I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize