im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
