dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
