I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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