I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
this boner is exhausting
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
