They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
