Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
