Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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