Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
