I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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