Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
do nipples grow back?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
