pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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