I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Who died my cat blue again?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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