I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
