I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize