We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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