I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
