Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
is that a dick in a sweater?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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