If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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