Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
