My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
