Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize