I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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