sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
