Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
