He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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